There are categories of people I avoid sitting with by the bar whenever I’m out on the piss after a busy service. It’s the kind of snobbery I apply defensively, so I can keep my nerves at bay. I’ll be OK hanging out with people whom I barely like or with those who cling on for free drinks, fags or lifts.

But cokeheads, guys with B.O., girls with hairy armpits and nostalgic return migrants I can’t handle. Sadly, I’m lately catching myself behaving like a hardcore drinker of the latter category. And what’s more pathetic is that I’ve never lived abroad for longer than three months.

Because of my lack of patience with the ‘ghax ahna, l-Ustrelja’ ilk I have refrained from making direct comparisons with other countries all my life. The thought of creating an elusive fairy tale world a hundred kilometres north used to make me feel queasy. But it’s too late now.

I have now come to terms with the fact that I take up 90Kg (uhm, I’m heavy-boned) worth of human space in a country that is no longer habitable by my expectations. Coincidentally, I have learnt to love other parts of Europe (read Italy) so much that I cannot help making fancy comparisons.

The big question is: why don’t I bust a move? Because I want to prove a point with Taverna Sugu. I want to keep enjoying my pints of Cisk by the beach. I still hope for a revolution. The rest is personal. What can I say? Avoid sitting by the bar with me if you see me out.

And once we broach the subject, please come to my ‘Iva ghax Le ix-xorb hazin ghal sahhtek’ party this Sunday at Taverna Sugu.

We are four days away from a referendum that means fuck all in real terms. Either way, with a little less than half or a little more than half of the country opposing divorce, progress will hardly feature in the end result. Sunday will be a get-together celebrating the courage (or lack of it) of the few dozen liberals that have not yet had enough of our degenerate national psyche. You’ll just have to put up with my fastidious grumbling. Spirits will be offered at half-price in return.

Small print: Read this before you get sloshed: the offer is on spirits not on wine or anything else. Just bloody spirits. Vodka and stuff like that.

For directions to Taverna Sugu please click here